Uncle Ani and his bestest friend "Suzy"
Once upon a time, out of the internet darkness came this strange dude who call's himself Anarak or "Ani" for short. Who is he, what's his story, and can he really be that awesome?
The time has come to answer all these questions my sicko's, and properly introduce myself...
What up, I'm Anarak Lumberhead, but you can call me Ani! I'm 35 and I hail from the great state of confusion....er...Pennsylvania. When I'm not off working (I'm a DJ at various clubs.) I'm usually at the pool hall shooting a rousing game of 9 ball, playing cards, or getting it on in speed chess. I like to stay fit, so I hit the gym a few times a week plus I used ta box and still train. I love animals, kids, and women. Man do I love women. I'm currently single and will remain that way if I have anything to say about it. The single life is way too much fun! You got girl problems I feel bad for ya son, I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one. Hit me!
The pup in the photo is my female pit "Suzy" named after my childhood and forever crush Suzanna Hoffs of "The Bangles". Never ever bad mouth Suzanna...bad things will happen...
Your probably wondering what "Anarak" means. It's a British slang for "Trainspotter" which is basically a British word for someone who is odd. Ya see, Uncle Ani is....different. Everyone who has ever met me tells me I am the oddest person they have ever met.They find me interesting in a good way (So they say.) I dunno what that shits about. All I can say is I yam what I yam.
Anyhow, I was dubbed that by a British gal I was seeing at the time and it stuck. Lumberhead is a nonsense word I made up and used as a child for no reason other then I liked how it sounded. Thus, Anarak Lumberhead. Just cause.
Oh, one other thing. In case you haven't noticed, I sorta like horror.
A lot.
A lot, a lot.
I've probably forgotten more fucking horror movies then most people have seen. However, if you knew me since I was a kid, you'd find this extremely ironic. Why? A long time ago, when I was a wee lad of about 5, I walked in on my cousin watching "My Bloody Valentine" (The Original) and sat down to watch it. I happened to come along during the infamous dryer scene and after seeing that took off like a fucking bat out of hell to find my mommy, swearing the entire way that I'd never watch another friggin horror again. That shit was scary!
As I grew older, curiosity lead me to peek at various horrors, only to re-affirm my vows quickly. They disturbed me, but damn if I wasn't curious. I mean they sounded so cool.
Finally an asshole friend of mine who was a huge horror fan, forever cured me of my fear of horror movies when I was 14. We were watching the original "Day of the Dead" (I never would admit to friends that horror flicks creeped me out, the dicks would never have let me live it down. So I pretended to watch and just look away when shiz got serious.) when the scene where a soldier gets his head literally ripped off came on. I looked away and asked my friend to tell me when it was over. A few seconds go by and my friend then informs me it's over and I look.....and see dudes head get torn off in a spectacularly gory fashion.
After cussing my friend out I realized that what I'd just seen was cool as hell, and from that point on I was hooked. Years later that friend remarked that he created a monster, as I surpassed him in horror knowledge.
For years, friends and family have been trying to get me to put my skills in writing and my programming knowledge to use by creating a horror site. I would shrug and say "Maybe..." but never do anything. At the time I was too busy smoking herb, getting drunk, going to concerts, getting laid, getting into all kinds of fights, getting locked up, and just being an angry, misguided youth. Also, there was the fact that there was so many great horror websites already out there and I didn't see what my ass could bring to the table that they they haven't already. It was John Fallon of "Arrow in the Head" fame who changed that, though it would take several years for me to take that big step, mostly due to laziness.
I had been a fan of Arrow's since his site started. Dude came off like some of my friends. I dug that he didn't present himself like other reviewers; all proper and shiz. He came off like one of your boy's telling you about all the cool horror shiz he just learned about. Hell, I could do that!
So I began writing little reviews on various sites, as well as some articles. Almost 15 years later, I decided to create my own brand of horror related shiz and come at ya'll in my writing like we been peeps for ages. In other words, I keep it real yo!
I've already taken the first steps and I'm pleased with the results, so phase two is under way which will involve a website and a forum, among other things. Phase three is when shite really gets interesting.
Anyway, that's my story ya'll. I'm just a punk who loves horror and wants to share it with fellow horror fans. This is a work of love. Plain and simple. Thanks to all the peeps who have supported me so far. Mucho love to ya'll. Stick around, more goodies on the way!
Other random tidbits about yours truly:
- My fav horror is the original "Halloween"
- My fav horror villain is Jason Voorhees
- I like all kinds of music, but Metal and Hip Hop are my main thing
- I'm 6'2 and about 215lbs
- I have a combined collection of horror VHS, DVDs, Laser disc, and Blu-ray that numbers around 1500
- I support gay rights and legalizing weed...(Damn right!)
- I hate politicians
- I love strippers
- Fav beer is Yuengling. Fav Alcohol is Old Grand Dad whiskey
- I'm an aspiring author
- As Fitty put it "I'm in to having sex, not in to making love."
- I once shot a man just to watch him die
- Ok that last one isn't true.
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